One survey found that 2.2 per cent of married people reported having more than one partner over the course of a year. Generally, according to reports, there are affairs between 15–25 per cent of married Americans and men are more likely to engage in adultery than women. And there’s a problem as to why husbands who cheat aren’t ready to divorce but still ch-eat.
1. His home is still the best place, in his opinion.
He knows you forever, you’re cooking for him and you’re taking care of the children. Because he wants to try something new, not necessarily because he wants to change his life, he is comfortable with his life and is looking for an affair. Home for such a husband is a chateau. Within his mind, there is no doubt as to whether he will leave. He doesn’t want this, because it would be hard for him to manage the house without his wife. There may no longer be any love or passion, but friendship and respect do exist.
He just wants a zone of comfort, where he can take the best nap.
2. He is just looking for a “break.”
A CEO of one dating site for married persons seeking affairs said in an interview that when you have a good relationship with your partner there are many of these types of cases. They are part of a good family group, both have duties but in this case, cheaters are not seeking a break-up.
3. He thought he could find the answer about life in an affair, but hasn’t yet.
An interesting story about a husband cheating on his wife. Indeed, a complete peril. The woman went through the whole spectrum of feelings but she started asking why after a while. He did not look as though he wanted to leave his home. The answer to that was simple. He didn’t do it because something was wrong with her, or because she was a terrific wife. He did so because he was wrong with something. Most men think something will change if there’s a new woman and they’ll be happy but it doesn’t happen. We love their wives, but they may still certain psychological issues.
4. He actually loves his wife.
One woman shared her story of a married guy dating. He was a gentleman and a lovely family man. And the main thing was he’d not left his wife. So, a lot of us might wonder why he’s behaving like this. Another man was in a position to answer that question. He had been married happily for over 20 years and had children.
And yes, he loved his wife a lot but for over 15 years he had been cheating. For him, it is just a “fetich.” He also feels guilty about it at the same time.
5. He doesn’t have enough courage to change his life completely.
He has already lived with his wife for 10 years and was a great husband and father, but he finds his soulmate unexpectedly. Therapist Douglas LaBier calls this affair “Mind-Body.” This new sensation can be very powerful, consuming you from head to toe. Sometimes in these situations, some men may choose to divorce and marry again, but others may not. Their wife still has a huge connection.
6. He feels that there are strong chains, like children or a mortgage.
A lawyer who has dealt with many divorces shared her experience, saying separation is very painful but stopping being a full-time parent is particularly painful. Such issues can deter other couples from divorcing, even though they aren’t happy together. There may be no love between the spouses anymore, but the responsibilities are still there and those chains can be very strong.
7. He doesn’t want to go through the pain of getting a divorce.
The word “divorce” evokes millions of bad associations and emotions. This includes dealing with attorneys, dividing property and bargaining on handling children’s time. Many people would prefer to leave everything as it is just so that they don’t have to go through the tears, rage, and shouting that comes with that experience. Even if the relationship is no longer safe, finding a partner is just easier. He still doesn’t want to bother his children and wife on top of this.
8. He realized he made a mistake when having an affair.
9. No Back Up Plan
Other ch- eating men stay married because they never thought that they’d get caught. Therefore, they never made a back up plan or strategy what to do next. For now, they just want to buy extra time while they decide what they want to do.
10. Thinks He Has Options and Gets to Choose Later
This case is similar to number 1, except here he decides that it comes down to you or her, and not be alone without a relationship. So while you might want help to save the marriage (just not sure how or where yet), he misinterprets your apparent inaction as you giving him a choice between you or her. And after all, if he blames the affair on you, then he feels he deserves the right to choose (as stupid of a reason that is).
11. He Still Loves You and Realizes His Life is Better with You
And the good news is that some cheating men stay married because they absolutely hate themselves for what they did, but don’t know how to go about repairing the emotional with you. I invite your husband to read my post for how unfaithful partners can rebuild trust (and also read my review of the resource I suggest within it).They feel so ashamed that they clam up and shut down emotionally. Obviously, these last two points leave the door open to save the marriage.
This is how people reacted to this post:
Margaret Nicola — You want to sleep around on your spouse with someone else then you need to get a divorce stop lying to your spouse and yourself. Men usually cheat because of low self esteem , greed and boosts ones huge ego. I believe this to be true.
Jane Mcalexander – simple thing to do is leave first. then go do what you want to do. it helps to do this first. men or women do not have to cheat. get a divorce and move on
Tia — I see a lot of excuses, though i do know men that never ch-eated on their wives even on tough moments on the relationship, many men also don’t try to do something different and seduce their wives, you know they like to be seduced, i see some men treating better their car or bike than their wives, they are not objects and they are sensible. As a man i try to improve the way i react with my wife and i’m not saying this to seem good but because i really do like her and want her feeling happy. Relationships are easy to start but need care and dedication to work and maintain.
Yolanda Liebenberg – Also shows how selfish men are…because this is only about them…it’s true though….but men seem to get the wrong idea of true happiness….they will continue to look for it elsewhere because their idea of happiness is messed up….a man like this will not find happiness in any relationship
This Article Was First Published on theemergingindia.com