Breaking up with someone can be really difficult. It's like losing something important in your life. When a relationship ends, you might feel ashamed, guilty, angry, sad, or even relieved. You might feel like you're grieving because you lost something you hoped for in the future.
It can be especially hard if you have children or shared finances with your partner. Even short relationships can hurt a lot. But as time goes on, you'll learn how to cope with the feelings better. It might never go away completely, but it will become easier to deal with over time.
7 Tips for Coping When a Relationship Ends
Sometimes you might feel pain for a little while, even if it doesn't last long it can still be hard to handle. Instead of facing it alone, we asked some doctors who study the mind and behavior for advice on how to deal with it. They gave us seven tips to help you feel better.
1. Keep Taking Care of Yourself
When you feel very sad and hopeless, it can be hard to make good decisions or take care of yourself. This is actually the time when taking care of yourself is most important. Studies have shown that when you go through a breakup, you might have trouble sleeping and your immune system might not work as well. To help yourself feel better, try to do some basic things like exercising, sleeping enough, eating healthy foods, and spending time with friends and family who make you feel good.
2. Write a Letter to Your Ex
Sometimes, a therapist asks their clients to write a letter to their former partner thanking them for the good things they gained from the relationship and saying goodbye. This helps them move on from the relationship and feel better. The therapist got this idea from a book called Conscious Uncoupling.
Couples in therapy for separation can do this exercise together, but it's not necessary to share the letter with the ex. Writing out your thoughts can help you feel better and bring closure to that part of your life.
Read more – 7 Types of Breakup that Gets Back Together
3. Surround Yourself With People You Love
Sometimes when you feel sad or lonely, you might want to stay in bed and not talk to anyone. But actually, it's better to go out and be around people. A study found that being with others can help you feel less lonely and less depressed. You can ask your friends for help and spend time with them.
You can also say yes to invitations to meet up with them for coffee or hang out together. This can give you extra love and support.
4. Expect Healing to Take Time
The truth is that it might take a while for you to start feeling better. You might have some good days, but then something might happen that makes you feel bad again. It's okay if this happens, and it's normal to have strong feelings suddenly.
You might not be able to completely forget about the person who hurt you, and that's okay too. The important thing is to keep going and learn how to deal with your feelings. It's a normal part of life to experience loss and heartache, and it can help you grow as a person.
5. Feel the Feelings
It's normal to feel the way you do after a breakup or when you're rejected or lose something important. These feelings show that you're capable of love and that's a good thing for your future relationships. Instead of ignoring these feelings, talk about them with someone you trust like a friend, therapist, family member, or mentor.
You can also write about your feelings for a few minutes each day for a few days and it can make a big difference. You can even throw away the paper if you want to.
6. Do Something Kind for Someone Else
Taking your mind off your problems and thinking about something or someone else can be beneficial at times. According to a study in 2018, getting distracted can be an effective way to deal with the aftermath of a breakup. By doing something nice for someone else, your mood can instantly improve, and your problems may not seem as big.
Volunteering is a good option to help you recover from a breakup. You can even ask a friend who is also going through a breakup to join you.
7. Seek Professional Help
It's normal to take time to feel like yourself again after going through a hard time. But if you're not feeling better after a while, it can be concerning. If you're having trouble with work or school for several weeks, it's a good idea to talk to someone. You can talk to a counsellor or therapist or call a free and private listening phone service called a warmline. It's okay to feel sad, but it's important to keep living your life and talk to someone if you need help. Remember, you're not alone and talking to someone can make you feel better.
Conclusion
In conclusion, moving on after a breakup can be a challenging process, but it's essential for your well-being and happiness. It's important to give yourself time to heal, reflect on what went wrong, and focus on self-improvement. Allow yourself to feel and process your emotions, but don't dwell on them. Instead, try to redirect your thoughts towards positive activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.
One crucial aspect of moving on is cutting ties with your ex-partner and avoiding any contact or reminders of the past relationship.
This may involve unfollowing them on social media, deleting their phone number, and avoiding places you used to go together. It's also beneficial to surround yourself with supportive friends and family, engage in new hobbies or activities, and consider seeking professional help if needed.
Remember that moving on is a personal journey that takes time and effort, but it's a necessary step towards a brighter future. By focusing on self-care and personal growth, you can overcome the pain of a breakup and emerge stronger and happier on the other side.
